Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
