Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
