Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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