Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the day after is always just damage control
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
