Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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