Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
