OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
