You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize