dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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