my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
