It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
