I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
