im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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