I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Randomize
