Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
