Welp...herpes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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