i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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