dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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