Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
