Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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