The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
