Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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