I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
