I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You're like the curious george of whores
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
