umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Did I show you my penis last night?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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