idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
