i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize