I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
