I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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