she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
