I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
