I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh god it's open bar.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
