But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Vodka?
Forever.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
