This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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