Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
