I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize