Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize