Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
