Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize