I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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