your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
