I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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