You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
