big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
