i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
