Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
