i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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