Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
