I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
