DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
