yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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