a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
