I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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