just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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