you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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