I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
