Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
