The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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