I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
