in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
