every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
bring money and cleavage
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
