I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
