Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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