I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize