I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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