he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
