somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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