Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
