DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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